Sunday, February 23, 2014

IKEA Adventure

 
Guess what this is...

 
It's a warehouse full of junky crap.

 
Congratulations, if you guessed that it is IKEA.
 
Having never been there, and curious, Terry and I made a spontaneous decision to make the hour drive to this much ballyhooed destination.
 
Okay, the first above freezing, non-snowy Sunday in Detroit was probably not the best idea to try out this adventure. We spent a half hour trying to find a parking space. Then we made the trek to the front door (along with 1,500 other eager people). I had heard that IKEA was a type of furniture and homegoods store, so the giant posters of Meatballs in the parking lot seemed kind of weird, but whatever... I was thinking they could use a shuttle bus...
 
When we walked through the door we were hit with the smell of baking and cinnamon (yum), but there were so many people milling about, in the food area, we were immediately disoriented and felt overwhelmed. We did find a shopping cart, which had weird wheels, that moved sideways and wanted to steer itself. We got another one and it did the same thing, so we just tried to adjust.
 
We had a hard time finding a way into the actual shopping area, so we scampered through a check-out aisle (This was not going well). Once we entered the giant warehouse, all we could see were aisles and aisles of boxes, piled up to the ceiling. I'm still not sure what was in those boxes. I figured that you had to already know (somehow) what was going on here, but so many people here seemed to know the secrets, as they were waiting in lines and putting boxes into their carts.
 
We found ourselves in a homegoods section, and after a few minutes, realized that were arrows on the floor to direct you through a maze of wares. Wicker boxes, strange paper lights, cheap ass shelving, glass vases, cheap looking silverware, ugly print art, towels, and wow.
 
Terry and I tried to stick together, but we got separated somewhere between LED lighting and fake flowers. I tried to follow the arrows to an exit, but they kept taking me around in circles. After a couple times through the maze, I panicked, and tried to call terry. No phone signal, I was on my own.
 
Sweating, and feeling heart palpitations, I finally made it back to the section of boxes piled to the ceiling, and I waited.
 
Eventually, Terry came around the corner looking just as glassy eyed as I did.
 
We got the hell outta there.  
 
What a weird place. I will never go there again, and I can't figure out, for the life of me, what the draw is to this place... So many people ??? 
 
 
 
Ahh, heading back home.

 
Here comes the tunnel...

 
I love the lights, I love the tunnels, it means we're close to home.
 
Safe, and far away from that horrible place, called IKEA.
 
I thought Menard's and Costco, were vacuous, but IKEA took it to a whole new level.
 
Ugh.
 
 

No comments:

Post a Comment